A glance at my breastfeeding adventure

Most women who think about having babies, talk about having babies, are trying to have babies and never want babies know exactly, well maybe not exactly, what they will and will not do once they become a mother.  I had my fair share of things as well. So far many of them have come and gone, I have given some of them a try, some I never attempted and others I have stuck with, breastfeeding is one of them

Breastfeeding, I DO NOT enjoy it, some of you mom's out there are gasping at the thought. Sometimes I think that I may be the only mom in the world who is looking forward to the day that my little angle is weaned and I no longer feel that my only purpose in life is to me milked by my sweet little girl. Now it's not that I want her to get any older I still want to enjoy all her first and soak up all the baby time I can get but without the breastfeeding. Now is it possible that one day I will look back on these days and wish for them back, it's possible but feels unlikely most days. There may be something wrong with me, I'm okay with that.

I wanted to breastfeed for a few reasons: breast is best, it's FREE and all my mom friends said it was convenient, all positives for me. So like anything I did my research, talk to other mom's, took a class, found useful websites. I wanted to be successful at this and be prepared for what I was about to do. Of course you can never be completely prepared for anything that has to do with baby but I felt that I had all the knowledge I could find. Of course I had to make sure Kyle was full of all this knowledge too because I knew I would forget half of it because of my baby brain, which I have yet to get rid of. 

Now it started off like most things when you are a newly sleep deprived walking corpus wondering how in earth you are surviving off of and hour and a half of sleep, I mean parent. It had it's up and downs times I cried, yelled, swore at my poor infant daughter, wondering if my breast would ever look the same and begged my husband for formula. But like most things as a new parent after a couple weeks, and many calls to the wonderful Lactation Consultants at Wentworth Douglas Hospital, we all got the hang of it and mommy began to heal both physically and mentally and we were on the road to success, it was a long road with a few detours but non the less we were making progress. It's hard to move forward quickly when you are tired. 

Annaka is still exclusively breastfeed at 6 months and we are starting to introduce yummy veggies and fruits. I still don't get warm and fuzzy when she is nursing, I don't look down and wish for that moment to last forever and as amazing as it is, the fact that God made my body to nourish this little one, I still feel unattached to breastfeding. I feel that this is my job I am her mother and that is that. 

I have wondered if it is because Annaka and I get lots of time alone together, I am grateful for this, so It's not that in the midst of a busy day we are searching for time to connect. We still have plenty of opportunity to be close. We play together while she is awake during the day. For this I am so thankful for and love every minute of it, well maybe not EVERY minute. 

Maybe if/when we have more children when things are crazy and hectic I will cherish the time that I get to spend with a little one. Maybe it is now you go into it. While I was doing all of my research I looked at breastfeeding as a job that I mother does if she is able. I was able so it was my job and I like to do my jobs with excellence. For now I am thankful I can feed my daughter for free and give her lots of healthy antibodies. But I don't think that come a year I will be sad to say goodbye to breastfeeding. 

Stay tune 6 months from now I may be eating my own words. 

Four months and Fabulous

When I look back at this month it feels like it flew by and wasn't too eventful. Kyle was gone most of the month for work. His little family missed him, including Gus and Blazer! For Annaka and I it was pretty much the same. We are on a 3 hour schedule. We eat, play and sleep until about 8pm when my hope is that she just sleeps. This month Annaka has been extra hungry so she has been eating every 3 hours around the clock. Very exhausting for this mommy. Maybe because I was without my partner in crime. Absents doesn't only make the heart grow fonder but it also reminds me how when Kyle isn't here I just don't work well. I am beyond thankful for my wonderful husband. Kyle is so good at making sure I have eaten and rested and am showered. He always puts my needs before his own, I am just lost without my husband. That cheesy line "You complete me." really rings true.

This month our adorable girl had some big first, I guess she does every month. It is just so amazing to watch a little human grow, learn and develop. Kyle and I try to guess what she will be like all the time. We think she will be polite, quiet, observant, sweet and a cuddle bug. Just a few things, we shall see.

~Make bubble with her spit (I only write this down as an accomplishment because the book says it is)
~LAUGHED!!! This has been one of the most exciting things I think!!!
~Her mouth found her hand
~Let Mommy and Daddy go on their second date. (Thanks Uncle and Auntie Melissa)
~Was part of "The Great Cloth Diaper Change" and was in the news paper!!!
~She has grown out of the majority of her newborn diapers
~Sat up all by herself in her Bumbo (Thanks Uncle Nic and Auntie Allison)
~Her first set of vaccinations
~Had some quality time with Uncle Nic!
~First Easter Egg hunt and she also received her first 3 baskets and a lovely book and long with 2 beautiful dresses.

A Special thanks to Miss Annaka for being so patient with her mommy this month who missed her husband. Thank you for forgiving me every time I lost my cool. You are one special baby!!!

Learning so much in 3 Months

I was never a person who wanted to hold every little baby that I saw or adored all little children and thought that they were precious. Of course I always loved my family and my friends children but it was just different. Since I had Annaka I feel more warmly towards all children they are ALL precious in there own way and they all have a mother that loves them like I love Annaka and they were all these tiny little babies once that there mothers put so much love into. I also finally understand the "Mother's Club" that I heard about before I had my baby. Every time I see a pregnant woman I want to do whatever I can to help her out! I want to hug them and offer them any words of encouragement that I can. All ultrasounds melt my heart even if I don't know the person, that little person that God is growing inside of their mommy is just beautiful! I guess little miss Annaka has turned me into a big softy. I love being her mom, learning compassion, patience, learning to see things a little differently.

This month was an extremely busy one for our little angel. She was of course such a delight to Kyle and I. Even with all the traveling that Kyle had to do they still got lots of cuddle time in, which was important for both parties. I feel like it went by so fast! Maybe now that I am getting a little more sleep this is when time begins to fly by? I hope it doesn't fly by too fast!

So these are some milestones for our little sweetheart:

~First Basketball Game, the Blazers of course

~First airplane ride across the country to visit her Uncle and Auntie and cousins!

~Started making bubbles with her spit!

~Doing lots and lots of grabbing and bringing objects close to her face.

~Found her foot (Daddy saw this one not me)

~ROLLED OVER!!!! Rolled from her little tummy to her back.

~First babysitter that was not family, Thanks Tyler!

~Sleeping in crib more and we don't have to swaddle you anymore.

~Holding your sweet little head up all on your own.

~You can now sit in a sling facing out.

Annaka,

You are so much more alert. I have so much fun with you, we have tummy time and story time. We go for walks with our puppy when it is warm enough. I love how you are always looking at everything around you. You never miss anything! I think that you are going to be the silent type like your dad. Which means when you have something good to say you say it! You love to watch your daddy cook. You also love to chat with him, just today you were talking so much! You are so sweet and so happy we love you so much. Your Daddy and I love you more and more each day. We are already so proud of you and the things that you have accomplished. We love watching you grow into the young lady that God has given us. Your Daddy and I delight in you and in our family time. We could not be more grateful for the joy you bring into our lives. We love you sweet girl.

Baby Shower Pictures

Here are some more pictures for you to enjoy!

It's a Girl

So Kyle and I, as always, wanted to find out the gender of our baby in a different way, be original, come up with a unheard of plan. And we did! We decided to have the ultrasound tech write the sex on a card and seal it. We would then pass it along to my sister who was throwing the shower. She would then plan the party for the appropriate sex AND tell all the guest the sex so that we would not end up with a ton of yellow and brown, ducks and monkeys. Not that those things are not adorable. So everyone knew what we were having before we did. People asked if that bothered us and my response was "I don't know, well see." But it didn't it was kind of like a game and Kyle and I are always up for games.

Kyle and I both talked about what we hoped for and to tell the truth we really didn't care. We had been hoping for a little bundle for quite some time at that point and when you have been waiting for what seems like forever you truly just want a happy healthy baby. Of course I felt a girl would be easier because I am one and it seemed at the time I would know what to do with a little girl easier than a little boy, I was wrong. Kyle felt the same about a boy. Little did we know that no matter what parts a baby has down below they are still a mystery to be solved.

The shower idea seemed to work, no one spilled the beans which was our biggest fear. My sister, mom and Melissa planning the shower. Many other wonderful family and friends helped by bring yummy food for all of us to enjoy! A friend of ours also took pictures as a gift. It was so much fun, and it felt so nice to have all of the people there that we love so much (minus some that could not make it because of distance). I do know that our reaction was not as people had hoped, when we entered the room we just both smiled with delight. There were no screams of "YAY", that just isn't really us, well in a large group like that. To tell the truth when we walked in and saw everyone staring at us I felt a little overwhelmed, I'm not one who likes to be the center of attention, even less so Kyle. I didn't really think that who "revealing" process through. Next time!

We not only wanted to be original with how we found out the sex of our baby but we also wanted to be original with the events activities. Since it was going to be a Jack and Jill we wanted everyone to have fun. We had a photo booth with props, a onesie decorating table, a well wishes/memory lane station and a party isn't complete with out a little competition. We had a baby food eating contest boys again girls which the boys won.

It was a great day I'm thankful for Mike who took pictures for us and my Aunt Caroline who took pictures of all the little details that I didn't really get to enjoy the day of. Kyle and I really enjoyed ourselves thanks to Allison, Mom and Melissa who worked so hard so that we could have a wonderful shower. Also thanks to everyone who came to our little lady's special day. It is a day that we will never forget.

I am already thinking of brilliant ways to find out the gender or baby number two one day. Sometimes I wonder if I missed my life calling to be a party planner.

I would call this shower an Unordinary Smith Adventure. :)